How to Deal with Grief During Times of Happiness

Knowing how to deal with grief is difficult at the best of times. However it can be particularly difficult to grieve during times of celebration. 

When the death of someone close to you occurs around any sort of special occasion, it’s easy to resign yourself to the fact that you’ll never be able to enjoy that particular date in quite the same way again. The passage of time and the process of exploring different coping techniques will help transform your approach to these occasions.

Be Honest

Sometimes, the first step to happiness — or at least acceptance — is admitting that you’re sad. Whether they are private or shared, allowing yourself to have moments of emotional truth can be incredibly cathartic during this time, even if that means shedding some tears along the way. 

For other members of your family or your close friends, honesty can also be useful. It will enable them to have a better understanding of how to approach you, and what you may find triggering.

It is important to note that people experience guilt in many different ways. Some people may find a happy occasion unbearable during a time of grief; some may find it a welcome distraction and extremely therapeutic. Letting your loved ones know that you are okay can be just as important as letting them know you’re not. 

Invite Your Loved One to the Party

During family gatherings or parties, this may be done by bringing up something your loved one used to do that would make you laugh or even offering a toast for them at the dinner table. Some people even find talking about their loved one in the present tense, rather than the past, extremely helpful in connecting with them on some emotional or spiritual level as though they were still present amongst your friends and family. 

Naturally, this sort of approach may take time and in the immediate aftermath of someone’s passing, reminiscing or talking about them may just seem too painful. But in the long run it may be a very useful way of managing your grief when annual events occur. Rather than repressing the memory of your loss, you can reintroduce your loved one into your life in a different way. 

Create New Traditions 

Sometimes, it doesn’t matter how hard you try to think of the good times, losing someone may make it too painful to continue with the traditions you’ve held onto for years. The wonderful thing about traditions, however, is that they be adapted. Especially when the established ones are causing you unnecessary pain, it may be time to explore doing things differently. 

If cooking a particular meal brings back painful memories of your loved one, then take this opportunity to discover your new favourite food. There are no rules when it comes to celebrating, or indeed grieving, and so any process that you find helps you enjoy yourself as you move through a tough time is the right one. 

Making new traditions not only allows you to create happier memories in the place of ones that may be tinged with sadness, but the immersion in the present moment that this engenders can also help to take your mind off any stress or sadness you may be feeling. 

For any advice you may need on how to deal with grief, please contact us here.