Condolences pay tribute to the deceased and express your sympathy to their loved ones. However, when a person we know passes, we don’t always know the best and most respectful way to express our condolences to offer them comfort and support. Depending on the type of relationship you have with the deceased or the mourner, there is an appropriate form of condolence.

When the deceased was somebody close to you

When you attend a loved one’s funeral, it’s generally possible to express your condolences to the family members after the ceremony and to write them on message. Generally speaking, the closer you are to the deceased, the more you can compose personal messages that differ from the classical forms of condolences, since you can instead speak your heart and your own experiences with them in your own words. But standard forms such as “Please accept my deepest sympathies,” is still acceptable.

When you are close to the person in mourning

Depending on the relationship you have with the mourner and what you wish to express through your condolences, it’s possible to adopt a conventional or a more personal tone.

Here are some forms in a relatively conventional tone:

• “It was with the greatest sadness that we heard of your loss.”
• “We can only imagine your grief and pain, and you are very strongly in our thoughts.”

Or, in a more personal tone;

• “We were shaken up by this sudden loss and we feel your pain.”
• “Please know that we are by your side and support you in these challenging times.”

For a professional relation who has just lost a loved one

If you aren’t close to the mourner

• All my condolences
• My sincere condolences
• With you in your grief
• We’re thinking of you
• We share your grief
• We share your pain
• We share your sorrow
• With my deepest sympathies
• With all my sympathy
• With prayers and sympathy
• With our warm thoughts and prayers
• You are in our thoughts
• We share your pain and offer our sincere condolences to you and your family

If the mourner is a close colleague:

• I am deeply touched by your loss and share your grief
• I am with you with all my heart and share your pain
• It was with great sorrow that I came to learn of this sad news. I share your pain.